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Everyone has their unreasonable biases, but Justin’s boyfriend hates smart cars so much that he’s threatening to withhold sex if he buys one.
Justin asks:
I’m gay and 27 but I’ll be 28 in a few weeks so by the time you answer this question that’s how old I’ll be probably. But the point, my boyfriend doesn’t want me to get a smart car. We live together and he doesn’t want to look at it. I have a normal sedan car right now but the lease is up and I want to lease a smart car because it’s only $100 and I never drive anyone around but him or the two of us. He has motorcycle and a Mustang, and both are very impractical in the winter because, duh, it’s a motorcycle and the other is rear wheel drive. We live in New Mexico so this is not a problem, but he insists that if global warming makes it freeze we’re going to have to drive in my smart car and he’s not going to have that. And he doesn’t want to drive everywhere because he won’t get in the smart car. He says if I get it he’s going to withhold sex until I take it back. I think he’s joking but he has this crazy issue with smart cars! I don’t understand it. I have been trying so super hard to get what the frack he’s so upset about but jesus and a goat I do not understand. I am going to get this car. I don’t have money for another car and this one makes sense and I like it! How can I get him to deal with it and not be such a jerk? He’s also gay and basically my age, by the way in case you want to know.
Dear Justin,
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A Smart Car in hot pink!
You’re dating an idiot. Image may be NSFW.
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If you want to drive a smart car, drive a smart car. He can get over it. If he intends to withhold sex if you actually do it, let him. It won’t last long. If he intends to make your car purchases a serious issue in your relationship when it hardly affects him at all, you probably shouldn’t be dating the guy.
That said, I imagine he’s not all that bad or you’d have ditched him a while ago. Sit him down, tell him you’re getting the car, and ask him what he’s so worried about. If he has serious concerns you can address them together, but begin the conversation with the understanding that he doesn’t get to decide what you do and that withholding sex is unfair. I think he sees this as something funny and he’s only teasing you, even if there is an underlying issue that makes him want you to avoid buying a Smart Car.
If you take the conversation seriously, he’ll likely understand that it matters to you. If he’s just joking around that’ll come out pretty quickly and you two can go back to loving each other instead of arguing about something so trivial. It doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything wrong, though, so let him know explicitly how you feel and let him voice his concerns. Let him know you’ll take them into account when you make your decision, but if you’re paying for the car the final choice is ultimately yours—and yours alone.
Image may be NSFW.
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– Adam